((((( KimmyDawn ))))))

I got misty as I read your post. Sometimes I wonder why so much can be piled on to one person. You and I came to PC at the same time, and you have always been there for me and countless others. Last week, when I was going through my sadness and needed to cry, just seeing your avatar and reading your words brought on the water works for me. There are certain people who can spark that in me. I think its the comfort thing. I needed that good cry session....and I was so wishing I could just get hug from you. You're like my online mommy.

I wish I knew what to say to bring you some comfort during all of this. You already said you're taking it a day at a time....and that's how I live my life too, so thats exactly what I was going to say. The only other thing I can suggest that might help, is that you will be able to help someone down the road who might be experiencing a similar problem. A mother who might come here worried for her children and soon to be grandchildren, a father who is so scared for his daughter or son, or daughter-in-law or grandson...anytime I experience something difficult, I try to focus my attention on helping others, either right now, which you do every day here, or knowing that what I am walking through will give me experience and strength for the futre. It takes some of the power away from difficult situations when I think about others. Also, by talking it out with us, you're allowing us to help you.....which helps us.

As for the perimenopausal stuff, I don't know much about that, but I do remember when I was on the depo shot, my doctor said it put me into a perimenopausal stage, just becaue of the type of birth control it was. She recommended Estroven. I got the generic version of it, and it seemed to help. Its a supplement with natural stuff, that helped to calm me and even me out. Maybe your doctor can recommend something? Are you seeing anyone of the professional variety during all of this?

I just hope and pray that everything will be ok....how nice it would be to see into the future and know how it will all turn out? Or would it....I just know that no matter what happens, you will be ok.

You and your girls and those babies have an entire online "village" sending up good thoughts or prayers or whatever we all believe....I'm so glad you gave us an update; I think about you and your family often. Please keep posting....it takes some of the burden off of our shoulders to share our pain with others. Let us help to carry you Kimmy. Its great to be strong, but we all need to whither sometimes......

I love you!!!!!!!!!

~Rayna