i feel really stupid right now. i havent talked to my sister or my older brother in over amonth now, stopped talking to them because they tend to make me feel worse.... telling me to just quit the self pity and get my s**t together and all that. the last time i talked to my brother he told me straght up that he doesnt believe in clinical depression, that anyone can make themselves happy if they think positive.

so why do i miss them? its so stupid to miss people who only bring you down but i do anyway. even though i still have one brother i talk to i miss my sister and other brother. i want to call my sister so bad even though i know i'll just get another earful. i just wish i knew why i even give a damn. it's ridiculous. maybe i'm just a masochist or something.

sorry just wanted to get that out.