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Originally Posted by tigerlily84
I have family visiting from another country and they want to see me. I want to go, but I'm having such a hard time leaving the house lately. Not going would be extremely rude, because I haven't seen them in years.
The trouble is, it's difficult talking on the phone or even texting anyone back lately, which irritates people. Sometimes I just can't talk, not even by text. Seeing people in person just reminds me just how difficult it is to interact with people. It's like I've forgotten how to be a human being. I've been isolating for the past few months, really, which is why several of my family members have been concerned. I don't want an inquisition, which I know that I'll get. I don't want to talk about depression and anxiety because they aren't the most understanding bunch regarding that stuff. So in their eyes there's no "reason" for me to be acting this way.
I also want to say, that I realize how lucky I am to have a family that loves me. I am in no way saying that I don't want them around, nor do I want to seem ungrateful. But they seem to lack boundaries. When I tell them to back off that makes it worse, so I usually end up giving in and going to see them even when I don't want to. Sometimes it does help my mood to see them, but for a while now, it just brings me down. I feel guilty but I don't know how to explain without telling them about my issues.
Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with family and friends in the midst of a depressive episode?
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Hello tigerlily: Since I don't have family or friends at this point, I'm probably not the best person to be replying to your post. But you mention you've been isolating for a while now. I keep pretty-much to myself as well. And, what I know is, the more time I spend by myself, at home, the more difficult it becomes to get back out when I need to.
It's unfortunate your family is here now while you've been isolating. The ideal thing would be to start getting out a bit at a time, prior to their arrival, & build up so you were ready when they did arrive. There may not be time for this now. But could you perhaps venture out a couple of times before seeing them, just to get your sea legs, so to speak?
On occasions when I do have to go out & be amongst acquaintances, one thing I always do is to look as good as an old geezer like me can look. I find, if I'm well-dressed, my hair looks good, etc. people tend to not dwell on my mental or emotional state.
Also, before the event, I try to focus on the positive aspects... the ways in which I know I'll enjoy the experience once I get there. In other words, you might say, I psych myself up. (Once you get there smile & hug allot.)
I also work at trying to inject humor into the conversation wherever possible. I was once told, by a friend who was active in local theater, that I was a bit of a "quick study". In other words, she thought I was good at coming up quickly with things to say. I don't know if that was really true. But I do look for opportunities to make a joke, or a funny comment, mostly about myself (not self-deprecating.) It lightens the atmosphere &, here again, helps keep peoples' minds (& the conversation) off of things I'd rather not discuss.
Beyond that, I just steel myself against the inevitability of the experience & try to breathe deeply. I know it's going to happen, there's nothing I can do about it, so I just grit my teeth & show up.
Oh... the other thing that might help is to think, ahead of time, about the questions you know you're going to get & to come up with some responses you're comfortable with. Think of it as a job interview type situation. After a while, when one is interviewing for jobs, one gets to know what questions will be asked. So you can develop effective responses to them & practice delivering your lines.
My best wishes with regard to your reunion...