Hi! This is an interesting subject. I both can, and cannot, relate.

I had this problem a lot when I was a child. I was always a so-called "tomboy" (hate that term, it's gendered, while it's really more about different personality traits) who mostly had male friends all through kindergarten and my first years of elementary. They were more fun to be with, really. I got one good female friend from kindergarten, she was very different from me - more reserved and careful, but we are best friends to this day (I am 23 now) and now I would probably also say she handles a lot of social situations much better than me.

Things changed when I started wanting other things from a friendship. I still wasn't really all that interested in guys or make-up, but I was interested in having someone besides my mom to talk to about everything from menstruation and sex to feelings. These things I was not comfortable talking to most of my male friends about (feelings and sex are great subjects to talk with guys about, IMO, but not everything else) etc. I don't really know what changed, I entered puberty and probably started developing differently than I had, I must've changed a bit as a person I think. Either way I got some really good friends - mostly female - at upper elementary, or junior high as it is called in the US, and we grew from children to adolescents together and most of us are still great friends to this day. I joined in their conversations even though I knew nothing or cared nothing about it and I tried my best to understand how they thought and felt. That is key.

We are friends, I love them and trust them, I love meeting them, and I can talk to them about virtually everything. But we are still very different people, with different interests. For example: One girl is very much into horseback riding, she loves horses etc. I could not care less. Personally I have always cared very much for politics, which none of those friends really care about (I have another group of friends who do, because I eventually joined a political organization as a youth - wonderful decision, met many with similiar interests - and that best friend from kindergarten also happens to be interested in that and was a member of a different org., so we sort of have a group of friends in common now). And, I think, for a lot of people, that is the hardest to accept. That they are passionate about something their friends really don't have any interest for. The friend might be polite and ask, or they might go with you to some event to try to understand it because it means so much to you, but that doesn't mean they will feel what you do. We need to accept that friends are different, that it is hard to find a friend with exactly the same interests, etc.

Also, in my opinion, people have different definitions of friends - some people consider friends those they hang out with, for instance those they meet in social gatherings, those they meet in the pub or at dinner parties, even if they don't have a relationship outside of that. Simply the "someone to do stuff with"-definition.

Other consider friends those they can confide in. My experience is that the frustration and confusion you are describing often happens when those two clash, when one calls you a friend and means "someone who is fun to be with" and you call them the same and mean "someone I can trust and confide in". That means two people with very different definitions of friendship, which leads to different expectations. It also leads to some people being uncomfortable with being called someone's friend if they feel they do not really know them that well, for instance.

Lastly: I have always been a very social and outgoing person, but I still feel like I just don't get it and no one has exposed me for it yet. I still somehow end "out of the loop" in a lot of situations or don't understand double meanings in people's communication. I can push people away by bleing blunt and I can feel all alone in a room full of people - who are talking to me. But practice helps, you start to get it after a while. Even if you are a more direct person yourself.

And some of the women you've met, who are very dramatic, impolite or even bullies, seem like horrible people. There is no need to try to get friends with them.

As a footnote, it might be sad, but I honestly think we will always feel a bit alone. We will never really understand others or they us, completely. We will still sometimes feel a book or a stranger online is our most trusted companion, because we open ourselves to them in a different way. I think it is like this most of our lives. The trick is to find someone who understands that you feel that and show that they feel the same way, who are also nice to be with and who you can talk to about issues in your life.