Guess what? They test results came back today! The wouldn't tell me over the phone, said I had to come down to the hospital to talk with them about it. Naturally I freaked out, thinking it was something horrible. I was crying on the bus ride all the way there. Turns out, they just needed to tell me in person for confidentiality reasons. Nothing is wrong with me, I have a clean bill of health! I actually had to grab onto the chair I was sitting in so I didn't fall off, I was so happy when they finally told me. I was in anguish all week, crying in fear over what might have been inflicted on me. Now I'm crying with relief!
I know this sounds weird considering this is only step number one in beating this attack, but I really feel like celeberating tonight!
I also met with some of the staff who run the support groups for rape survivors, plus a grief counsler. I feel so empowered. Things are beginning to get better, I know the journey to healing is hard and long from over, but I'm getting there. One step at a time.
NOW who's gained the control back, I ask that heartless animal? Looks like I got the last laugh after all!

<div class="foot">(Edited by lost_lonely on 08/19/04 06:14 PM.)</div>