SkyWhite, it is so hard not to hate myself when I have so much bad things that happened to me that somehow I feel are my fault I know I work on this with my T all the time but I just feel like everything that happened to me I could have stopped some how. I know my T says I was too little, but some how I feel because I am bad or evil I csused this all to happen to me. How could so many bad things happen to one person If somehow they didnt deserve It. Even when I got shot it was my fault but somehow I feel it was somehow my fault. That is why I hate myself!

But today was a good day I had a better day after I was forced to take a day off because my computer for work fried and had to ne sent off to IT for repair. My BPD husband wasn't home today nobody was here I turned my cell phones off . I just enjoyed my day. Spent time enjoying time with my horses, working In the barn and the garden. oh I did buy another horse I tend to buy things when I am stressed. But I am looking forward to bringing her home next week. She is a spotted saddle Tennessee walker
So overall I enjoyed my day and dont feel so tired anymore