First of all, I think it's awesome that you feel comfortable enough with T to express your anger with her.

Although you *know* she cares, your unconscious probably does not. There are so many things that I *know* in my conscious mind. But that's not the part of my mind that influences my behavior right now.

I go back and forth between adult and child with T. I sometimes fluctuate wildly between the two in one session... I too, am afraid of turning 'all adult,' as I don't want to 'get better' and have T think I don't need him anymore. But on the other hand, I never want to admit just how much I need him.

Hang in there, Mouse. You have enough insight to keep your boat afloat right now.