For whatever it's worth I just wanted to add a few thoughts. It may or may not be helpful to remember that the majority of the people who come to this forum are people who are also struggling with difficult and painful issues. I myself have physical and sexual abuse in my past and I too have chosen coping methods that aren't the most healthy. I think everyone who has posted on this thread has their own painful story to tell. Likely, things that they are still struggling with right now but they are still trying to be helpful to others. I think that people are posting here with a motivation of wanting to be helpful-helpful in ways that they know from their own personal experience. And, that's all we have. We aren't paid professionals. We are just trying to help from what we know from our own history and our own pain. Maybe some of those ways would not end up being helpful to Growli but they are made with that intent. Yes, perhaps there is frustration involved for some people here because of the outcome but there is also caring and there is also an attempt to lend a helping hand.

After reading several of these threads I think the question that comes to my mind repeatedly is-Growli, what are you hoping for with these threads? Are you hoping for a certain kind of response? Are you wanting people to just read your thread, a way of listening to you? Would you prefer that people not offer suggestions? Maybe you have already done this, I apologize if you have and I missed it, but maybe it would be more useful for you if you include what you would consider helpful for you. I know that you are going through a hard time and I think that people are really just wanting to be helpful and many of them are trying to be helpful while in pain themselves.

I wish everyone peace and happiness.