I think it was just a really tough day. coupled with your own suicidal depression this has to be difficult. those sideways ways emotions come out as t is talking about. just let them pass. I know, when I am feeling suicidal, and I hear that somebody else dies, it really impacts me hard. I don't feel it is fair. it is like, why do they get to die and not me? im jealous. im angry. I feel a whole host of emotions over it. it just isn't fair that they got to die and I have to go on living. just accept them and let them pass. take care.