I'm very similar to what your saying as well. My mother is usually the result of my irrational and unpredictable anger. Not just her though, mostly anyone I don't like or annoy me, but when growing up instead my mom was the opposite to how yours is when it comes to bottling emotions. My mom forced me to suppress mine and keep them from showing so that's what causes me to be so explosive sometimes, I can't control hardly any of my emotions, let alone identify them.

I'm very sorry your suffering and hope you find a way to maybe reason out your emotions. I know what helps me is listening to music and pacing. It helps me escape from reality to think or day dream things over.