I work really well with my CBT T but he is louder clumsier and less gentle than my psychodynamic T. So there are two times where he set off a bad parental transference.

I have a driving phobia and sometimes we will do an "in-car" session. While I was driving it was getting close to the time when we had to get back to the office…I almost missed my turn and he raised his voice. I had a really really bad reaction to that. Yelling was a regular part of growing up in my family's house. T and I talked about it later and we mostly worked it out.

Recently, he wanted me to try a technique of self-talk that involves asking myself in response to despairing feelings "what are you going to do about it?" which sounds too much like the unsupportive feedback I got as a kid. Pull yourself up by your bootstraps crap. So I am not reacting well to that.

The only answer I have is to be honest with T how their words or actions negatively affect you and the reasons why.