Without going into a whole lot of unnecessary detail, I will say that I was molested at age 14 by a 19 year old random stranger. However, it happened one time, and I don't let it bother me. It never really bothered me to begin with, which I think is odd. I mean, sure, I felt violated, but it didn't tear my world apart, unlike other situations that have happened in my life, which were not nearly as bad as this. I remember feeling "frozen" during the incident, as if I couldn't speak or move, though.

Then when I was 17, I lost my virginity to this guy who was 30 years old. He never asked if I would have sex with him, but just started to undress me and have sex with me. I felt "frozen" at this time, too, and didn't feel like I could say or do anything although I did not want it to happen.

Today, at 30 years old, I have serious trust issues with men... and I don't know if this could be stemming from what happened to me. Is it bothering me a lot more than I originally thought? Did I block out my feelings in order to not have to deal with them?

My question is, what's wrong with me? And my other question... is the second scenario considered rape, even though I never actually spoke the word "no"?

I don't know why I need to know this now, at this point in my life. I guess I'm more curious than anything else.