Hello Bella,
I am sorry you are struggling at this time regarding the relationship with your family. sometimes people write letters to someone they do not get along with, just to be able to cope with the pain they have to endure in trying to have a relationship with that person. Sending the letters is your option, but at least in writing the letters you are letting your feelings out, and are able to move on without having to feel withdrawn or helpless in having a real relationship with someone that is hard to get along with. I hope things get better for you soon Bello. Take care and good day. Soidhonia