Sorry to see that this has had such a hard impact on you Eskie and as such I won't quibble too much over being labled as lacking in intelligence. I acknowledge that humour of the banter type (and sarcasm falls into this) treads a fine line of mutual one up manship (if both parties have a similar sense of wit) to control (bullying) if the recipitant is at the butt end of every joke.

Can also be a cultural thing, in the UK for example... Banter of the above type is pretty standard across the sexes but is generally light hearted. If I felt that I'd upset someone I would stop immediately and apologise as well as note their tolerance level to that kind of thing so as to avoid future upset.

As for my own wife, our relationship is healthy (with exception to my bruises heh) and I would never intentionally (nor unintentionally if I can help it) humiliate her nor anyone else.