wow i did not think i would get this many responses. yes i have a therapist, a pdoc my meds are good (after years of bad i know what works finally) and i take very good care of myself. he does suffer from real- can not get out of bed for days- depression. and like i said i don't rage at myself anymore. i cry. (i am very aware of myself) that is really it. yay meds finally working.

i had a long talk with a friend of ours who had an ex husband who did the same crap to her. she could not believe i was going through this with my boyfriend.

i have set boundaries that he is not to cross, i let him know how emotionally abusive and controlling he has been in detail. he has agreed to go to therapy himself (the lack of mental healthcare in this country has been a serious problem for him) and he agreed to go to couples therapy because i said if not i was leaving. he needs to learn how to communicate with out shutting down which i said was a way for him to control the situation. if it was all bad i would have left a long time ago. he is my best friend too and why all of this crap so much worse. the people you are the closest to should not hurt you but def have the ability to hurt you the most. i have never had to deal with this recording bs with anyone before.