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Old Sep 22, 2014, 02:07 AM
applesmiles applesmiles is offline
New Member
 
Member Since: Sep 2014
Location: canada
Posts: 8
Hello everybody,
I'm going to share my situation here with you guys in hopes for any insights or advice.

Well, I am a 20 year old girl/woman. My dad up and left without a word 4 years ago.
So now here we are just my mother, 2 sisters, and I as the only family in this country.
When my father left, I took up the responsibility of helping raising my 2 younger sisters as well. In doing so, I realized something bigger than myself, and also all the ways my parents should've and shouldnt have raised us. My father for one was always out the daytime and only home at nighttime (so I cant really say I miss him though I do feel like I have a father-shaped hole in my heart). My mother quite often would invalidate my feelings or be very unresponsive when I expressed myself. When I would show her an art piece or an idea I had it was almost always met with scorn or pessimism. As a child I had always yearned for someone that would listen, or just for somewhere to express myself without ridicule.
My mom and I had a very strange relationship. We were once very very close but also had a love hate relationship as long as I could remember. She would often guilt trip or have random bursts of rage, that was her parenting style.
Now our relationship is mostly of hate. I can't Stand being in the same room as her. I'm annoyed with her being a mom who didn't have a damn clue about being a parent. Everything she ever says to me is critical, discouraging, or negative. I feel like she is putting pressure on me to make up for my dad's place. When she is around I just feel an air of tension radiating from her because she does work a lot to support the family as a single mom but I just feel like all she does is blame me for not helping out enough. Like how does she expect me to have any motivation to be the best I can be when all its ever been with her is put-downs.
I feel disgusted at the idea of getting along with my mom. And I hate feeling this way because she is my mother after all.

Does anyone feel the same way about their mom or has any advice to get through this situation?
Hugs from:
hvert