I wonder as I hear folks here talk of their self harm by cutting or... __________ feel free to fill in the blank.

I would like to know, if it can be put in words here, how this is dealt with in therapy and how that continues outside of the therapetic milieu. What questions, what emotions, what... whatever.

I know that some of you talk of hiding your injuries and even how freeing it would feel to not feel the need to or to have never done it in the first place.

I am obese. I am beginning to see it with more reality. I know that it is "protecting" me from the world. I also know that sometimes I eat so much I am in pain....though I suppose I am trying to cover up a different pain or swallow it.

How might it feel to just be with the pain. It is hard to think of not taking the actions that I do... and I think I am coming to see it in a different light. I enjoy the intake and admittedly embarrassing..the output. (There I said it.)

I wonder in others if it is the intake (or prerelease) as the cutting or what have you or the result.. the blood.

I hope this post does not offend and this really is a fishing expedition for me.

How do you deal with all of this in therapy and beyond.

I also have embarrassment as there really is no hiding my girth... except I do wear looser clothes. I am often uncomfortable with this and know it gets in the way of my present and my future if I do not deal with it.

I appreciate your responses on whatever you feel your self harm (if you have one) to be and how you do or have dealt with it.

I also wonder about the embarrassment as I think/know that people know that fat people have no self control. Do you see fat people and others of self harm for the pain they carry?