Hmmm, we make each other cry.....I don't know why I see some humor in that, but its a good humor. Can't explain it.....I guess maybe not humor, but relief in knowing that we all have people out there who love us, even though we've never met face-to-face. WoW....what an amazing feeling. I'd bargain too.....its a stage of grief isn't it? Even though no one is lost.....there's still grief in the situation. This kind of stressful situation brings a change to life that we're powerless over, so we grieve the loss of the way life was before the stress. I'd say you're right where you're supposed to be in the grieving process. I pray that you get some piece of mind soon.......