yeah, I know that, too. additionally I get more frustrated by people whom I've told about my depression and they still do insensitive stuff. it makes me mad because I told them so they should be more careful about what they say or do. and I don't mean it in a complicated way. just they should not cancel meetings last minute because they just feel like it and I end up crying alone at home or they tell me a list of what they think is wrong about me. that kind of stuff would really be nice not to do to someone with depression.
I'm trying my best not to freak out so much but I have a weird feeling that I am not around the most understanding kind of people. sort of hard to figure out if it's me who is reacting inappropriately or if they are being rude. or if I should also start being rude in that way because everybody does it. actually I think they don't ****ing care. they don't care if they worsen my condition or if I'll be better or be dead some time. as long as I am driving them with my car and borrowing money for drinks. as long as I am convenient to them. I guess there is not more to these "friendships" than that. and I am still grateful if I can see people at all. so it doesn't matter how they treat me.
anyway, some days everything anybody says makes me angry just because of the noise.