It feels to me like you are disagreeing about whether the glass is half-empty or half-full. A half-empty glass is what you get IRL as leah says from an abusive partner. A half-full glass is what you get IRL from a good enough parent - the tipping point is the mood, the attitude, the commitment? The conscious vs the subconscious. Judgment vs unconditional positive regard. You have the half-glass of the fee. Its like anything else in therapy - its your choice how you look at it. How you look at it will determine how you will proceed. You keep asking her to make that decision for you. But the decision of what to accept as truth really has to come from you. You are writing your own story. Her story might be very wishy-washy! Or maybe she flips a coin to make a decision! Are you going to write your life story based on her floozy parameters? I doubt it!