Im wondering if their definition of feeling sorry for yourself is different than what you mean it to be. I used to get so upset when someone would tell me to stop feeling sorry for myself and do something about my problem. but then one day I asked the person who said it to me what they mean..

turned out their definition of feeling sorry for myself was constantly worrying, constantly telling people how worried I was but their not seeing any improvement /actions I was taking, feeling like I was worthless, hating myself, saying things like man Im a piece of crap for this happening or I should have done this or that... basically getting down on myself, self judging myself and the situation.

when they explained that meaning of feeling sorry for one self I discovered they were right. That day instead of ruminating/worrying and showing people how helpless I appeared to be, instead of hating /judging myself and what lead up to the situation I was in, instead of constantly showing people how helpless I seemed to be, I sat down and made what I called a proactive list....A list of positive actions I could take and how to follow up on those goals. A list of positive statements about myself and the situation I was in so that I could post it on the fridge and look at it when ever I started to get down on myself and the situation. One of the items on my list of positives was a list of great people in this world that had been fired, did you know even greats like Oprah Winfrey, Ellen Degeneres, many other actors, singers, comedians, people who have contributed to what kind of world we live in have been fired more than once. After that I took the attitude of so what I got fired, Im in the company of great people. Then I looked in the mirror and found many things I like about me, my eyes, my will to help others, that beautiful necklace someone I cared about gave to me that I always wore like an extension of me...

then I started looking for another job that turned out to be the best fitting job for me. in the mean time I lived on disability and getting on it was a bit of a challenge. I filled out that paperwork and every day I made follow up calls to find out the status of my case and what if anything they needed more information about. I lived on a strict budget while waiting....eventually with all my changing things from the negative to the positives people stopped seeing me as wallowing in my demise and stopped telling me to stop feeling sorry for myself. and eventually all the pieces of my life fell back together...

my point is yea its horrible having someone keep telling you to stop feeling sorry for yourself. but maybe theirs something that they are seeing that you at the moment dont. wishing for people to stop saying this isnt going to make them stop. whats going to make them stop saying it is finding out why they keep saying and changing those things to the more positive.

my suggestion, next time someone says that to you ask them what they mean, ask them why they say that. it could be quite enlightening on the situation like it was for me.