I've been looking for a thread which I'm sure I read earlier today and cannot find it!

Trigger warning SA

So, as we are going with the 'lets assume it's true for now and I haven't made it up' approach, I feel like stuff is there for the remembering if I choose to go there...fragments and stuff. I had a moment last session where I was kind of back there (if I was there ) for a bit. Ugh. So awful and disgusting and scary. And bad feelings. But also a kind of turned on feeling, just in one area (that area )
I had read someone having a very similar experience too, and really wanted to read more. Has anyone talked to their t about it? I sort of want to, because I want to just get over this whole mess and move on. But I feel so ashamed of this feeling. Does it mean I wanted to do it? I wasn't a child, I was fourteen, maybe I initiated it? Though I was/am very scared of that person who did it.

How will it help to talk to t? Will she judge me?

Soooooooo confused! Please help.....