Quote:
Originally Posted by JustShakey
(((Alone)))
Remember, all this negative sh^t he unloads on you - it's about him. He uses you as an emotional sink for all the things he can't bear to feel about himself.
He's not going to apologize or even feel bad about what he says because the mental gymnastics that he has to do to keep making his stuff about you makes it impossible. The only way to get him to back down is to throw his crap right back at him. And that is *hard*. Ask me how I know 
Bottom line, you have to stop looking to him for any type of acceptance or validation. I know that's rough, because I'm sure at least a part of you still loves him (and that's normal and okay). Believe in yourself. You are a worthwhile and valuable person. You are kind and caring. And you do belong here.  |
Thank you so, so much JustShakey. I really needed to hear this today. Thank you. I believe you. I know deep down you are right and I do believe you. Thank you so much. I do exactly that - I look to him for validation and acceptance. I try so hard to please him and do the right thing but it is never good enough. I kind of see this now. I try so hard every day. I am continually walking on eggshells. I can see this now. I do everything to make the house run smoothly and to avoid conflict but I am beginning to change (I think). I don't want to be treated like this anymore. It is so cruel and so unfair. I deserve better (I think).
I also don't want my boys to think that this behaviour is acceptable and I don't want them to ever treat a partner like this.
Thank you so much.
Thank you for saying I belong here - this means so much. I have never felt I belong anywhere. Xx