Good afternoon

For the past nine years I have been in a constant struggle with depression and to top it off my wife has continued to send money home to her family in the Philippines.

We have discussed this many times, calm and rationally, and now it is just an argument every time it comes up.

For example, I work a full-time job and make good money, after paying ALL the bills I have nothing left for food. You would think my wife would take up that portion of the household expenses, but she will not and refuses to.
We have two children who have, on more than one occasion mentioned that they are hungry and we have nothing to eat.

This started another argument today when I said she needs to stop sending money home and worry about her family her in the United States. I paid all the bills and we had $67.00 left for the next two weeks and that does not include gas to get to work (DO NOT KNOW how I am going to pull that out my back side). She instantly starts calling me an A-hole and that I always blame her. In a way I am because it is her fault. She works, receives and income and will not contribute to the needs of the family. She even has her own checking account because she said "her money is her money.", Really? I wish I could pull that card!

I have tried telling her directly, I have tried getting her into the household finances, she refuses and says she wants nothing to do with it. She continually charges stuff to her credit card and forgets to pay the monthly minimum. I have always tried to keep her out of financial ruin but it has just become too much!

I have my own issues to deal with and I have cancelled all my appointments because I cannot take off of work, due to the finances. I cannot afford to lose pay at work.

Being from two different countries is difficult but she just refuses to accept that she does not owe her mom and dad, she needs to focus on us, here, now, our children.

Finally, I told her today either help with the bills here or go back to the Philippines because I am tired of dealing with the stress. With depression it makes it doubly hard! I literally want to give up and just say "screw it!" I love my wife but I do not love her irresponsible financial behavior. We can never save any money because I am always trying to find a way to pay for everything.

I do not want my two kids to grow up in a home with one parent but at this point I do not know if I can take any more of this without going off the deep end and totally withdrawing from society!

The main concern I have here is, making her accept the fact that she cannot afford to take care of her family back in the Philippines, and focus on our lives. Divorce will cost me more in the long run financially as well as for the good of my kids! I'm just at a loss now!