Quote:
Originally Posted by hvert
...Anyway, I think that is part of why I was so frustrated with myself. I know that if I try to include my mother in a small way, she will somehow twist it into 10x more contact than I want or some horrible, complicated endeavor-- she just did this three weeks ago when we tried to take her out for her birthday.
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Please don't be too hard on yourself! You're operating under normal social expectations, there's not a darn thing wrong with that. It's just that your mom is playing by a different set of rules (like my mom.) The "get away with as much as possible" set of rules
As you mentioned, yup, you need to be careful but it's really not worth making yourself feel guilty or worse over.
And... if you find any good tips for creating better boundaries (and saying "no!") please please do share! My mom is already hinting that she wants to come visit again
. I am so frazzled these days, I can't even think about it. I know if she tries to be more direct, I am going to completely snap! I think that I want to tell her she's welcome to come to the city that I'm in, but the I'm really not up for visitors, so she'll need to find someplace else to stay. I'm happy to go out one night with her, take her to dinner, do something fun... but I can't deal with her moving in for the weekend. Just... no.
*hugs*