I feel like I still don't know EXACTLY what you want to be different/what you want her to say/how you want her to respond.

Can you spell it out for me? Maybe it's just me, but even though your email said you didn't want her to respond like X, I'm still not confident I understand what you WANT.

For example, "When we were talking about X, I wanted to discuss how this situation made me feel, even if it isn't proportionate or misconstrued to the situation."

Or....."I'm not upset about the money part of the discussion, I'm upset about how easily expendable it made me seem. That was the part that was hurtful."

Am I on the right track? It seems like what you wrote in the email continues to just stir the pot because the actual issue isn't crystal clear.

Maybe it's just me though. I don't know.