One more day left before work on Wednesday. I have felt so physically ill today, low abdo pain, low back pain, nausea and I nearly fainted. I get somatic symptoms a lot, so I'm assuming that is what these are, but it would be absolutely typical of my messed up life to get ill right now. Despite hoping these symptoms are somatic, anxiety keeps taking over and I convince myself I'm bleeding internally. I want to take painkillers but I'm convinced paracetamol will destroy my liver, ibuprofen will detroy my stomach and naproxen will give me a heart attack. I have the codeine that I didn't take after my op two weeks ago but I'm not sure taking an opiate for what is probably somatic pain is a good idea. Right now I long for a few days of comfortable emotional numbness and apathy.