Quote:
Originally Posted by My kids are cool
People with huge issues WON'T admit it. They cannot handle the damage it would do to their self esteem to admit it's their issue. Her behavior is telling you everything you need to know. You already know the answer, and you know that she is so defensive and entrenched in her position that she cannot acknowledge any part of her responsibility in this situation. Maybe it's time to stop using the 'I want her to admit it" excuse, and acknowledge you don't want to leave for some reason and try to figure out what that reason is, so you can work on that, to try to get to a place where you can save yourself. Because this woman sure as hell isn't going to save you or even help you a little bit.
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This is an excellent observation. I agree IRL; you already know that this is a dysfunctional relationship and she is never going to give you the answers you want. Being dysfunctionally attached to her is not a reason to stay with her. It is making you worse. What would actually help you is figuring out why you are choosing to stay in this dysfunctional relationship when you know, logically, that it is very harmful to you. Yes, the T is at fault for the way she is behaving. But you are an adult and you are making the decision to keep going to her. Quite frankly, it doesn't matter what you say to her. There isn't anything that can be said that will fix this relationship. She does not have the skills to help you. You know that the longer you stay, the more damage you will do to yourself. If you want to get better, think about why you are making excuses for not being able to leave. You can leave if you want to you.