I have to pull up my big girl panties occasionally and ask for what I need. It pisses me off, they know me well enough to figure out what I want, they can tell from my reaction when they strike out or hit a home run, so why do I have to spell it out for them??!!

Because she can't read your mind. Because she is analytical in the face of your emotion. Because she feels trapped in this situation and so do you. Because of thousands of other reasons too.

This is hard, embarrassing, and hurtful to say. "T, when you dropped my insurance and wanted me to pay out of pocket, I felt that you were giving up on me for that paltry amount of money."

What would be a suitable response? What do you need her to say back to you? "I need to hear that you value our relationship more than money."

What can you give up if she responds the way you need her to? "I will feel much more valued and less inclined to argue over semantics if you would just tell me I'm more important to you than money."

But what if she can't say the things you need to hear? What if she's so firmly entrenched over this that she can never say those things to you? At what point do you walk away and save yourself the frustration of needing something she will never be able to give you?

That answer can only come from you.

I'm sorry and here's a hug because it sounds like you need one.

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