I.Am. -- some of this stuff is embarrassing to talk about, especially when it's new for you. Perhaps in time, you'll be able to take baby steps toward communicating about sex. I know I was terribly embarrassed when I was a young woman without much sexual experience.

You raised many interesting points in your previous post about gender identity and the effects of hormonal birth control on the way you feel. When it comes to birth control there is good news. You don't have to rely on hormonal birth control methods. OTC spermicides or vaginal sponges, when used together with condoms, are effective. These things can be purchased OTC at stores like Walgreen and even some grocery stores.

Spermicides have to be used 10 minutes before each act of intercourse. Vaginal sponges can be inserted up to 24 hours in advance. When used correctly and combined with condoms, it's a pretty good method for women who don't want to use a hormonal method of birth control. A gyno can also help you with barrier forms of birth control.

As you and your boyfriend move closer to intercourse -- only when you're ready -- I hope you will find the courage to talk about birth control. It's not dirty at all and it can make sex so much more enjoyable by reducing worry. I wish you the best.