You're still NOT getting it. Loud does not equal out of control. Coaches are loud, cashiers can be loud ("next in line please"), etc.) Projecting one's voice or talking loudly can be civil.

The person I'm dealing likes to act "as if." She takes perfectly fine scenarios, and paints them in a different light. She sets people up.

(Clarification: Maybe the term "volume contest" was misleading. In normal everyday non-hostile conversations, sometimes a the person speaking has missed a key point, and they start to go on and on about it. Or they have their facts wrong and are going on and on about that.

A normal civil reaction, is to interject by speaking slightly louder. Example: At the dinner table, Sally is telling a story about Ryan to her extended family. Sally neglects to mention that the "zipper" she speaks of, that was unzipped was a suitcase zipper, and NOT a pants zipper like the family seems to be thinking based on their expressions. So, Ryan speaks up to interject, "That was a SUITCASE zipper." Sally raises her voice above Ryans. Ryan tries again louder, "That was a SUITCASE SUITCASE!!!" That's what I'm getting at. Raising one's voice to correct a story is not necessarily hostile.

In this same vain, I was trying to correct my coworker when she was telling a misleading story about me. I wasn't angry, just trying to be heard AND to prevent others from getting the wrong idea. It was disappointing and embarrassing to me that my attempt at an interjection was mis-characterized by that coworker.)