I am nearly 30, with a failed marriage behind me, and I have met a guy I *think* I might want to spend the rest of my life with.

However I have some secrets - that have never been secret before. However in my dating this year, I only met one person I would've considered going further with, so I did full disclosure on everything, and he stopped talking to me.

I have always been entirely direct, upfront, and if people didn't like me for who I am, they could go jump for all I cared.

Since I was 21, I have worked as an escort, because I love sex, and love money. As an escort, I have slept with hundreds, maybe thousands of men. I have no er, lasting damage? Nobody can tell I Worked unless I tell them, or perhaps unless I've left something able to link me to my alter ego - computer stuff, something written down, my work phone or something. I've never hidden this at all before.

I am planning on going to Europe next year, or '16, and need the money. Quite badly in fact. I am semi disabled from a very bad car accident, so regular work is not an option for me really. And I like being an escort. I never do it close to my home, and was planning on being busy and working hard the end of this year, to secure the cash I need.

But this guy..... He's special. And I don't want to hurt him. But I fear rejection if I disclose everything.

When I spoke about Work vs Relationship with a Working girl friend, who was in her 40's, about 5 years ago, and she said to never tell men in my Real Life about being a Working girl, as they will always end up throwing it back at you in any argument. This proved completely on the mark as the guy I liked, and told did it just as she said guys would.

I am a SHOCKING liar, and never do it, and I abhor people lying to me. If my new guy asked me directly I would tell him, but wonder if perhaps just NOT SAYING it is the better option. Lying by omission, I know.

I could justify not telling if I didn't go back to Work again, but I want the money.... And I do not see things between us staying casual enough for me to go to work for a few weeks.

Unless I went and did a few weeks straight and then gave it a rest? But what would I say? Ask for some faith lol.

I really like him, and I don't wanna hurt him, or be hurt again. I'm not sure I could take that. :/

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