I never knew I had bipolar.. never tried to say I had a disorder never really read up on disorders.. always thought I was bigger tougher stronger then some disorder. . I totally dismissed it all.. it wasn't until I couldn't sleep and started going to the dr for shaking and no sleeping that it led to a train wreck of events.. including making my mom bawl.. pushing my marriage to its last threads. And more things. .. Prozac made me flip a lid to even newer heights of horrible... I'm brutal as **** when I want to be (sickly sometimes I smile when I think about it...).... what I guess I'm trying to say is I wasn't out scoping out disorders.... dr sent me to a clinic and I went and talked to the psych and therapist and was diagnosed bp 1. How'd I handle it? Pretty ashamed. The world slowed down some for a while after that... finally spent some time learning about bp. Now I realize I've basically been BP since 17 I just self medicated heavily for about 13 years... it's nothing that just goes away but remember you had this before the diagnosis. Your not bipolar. You have bipolar. And lastly it's a diagnosis. Bipolar for you is not bipolar for me. It's not a one size fits all by any means. The diagnosis is just a way for Dr's to better be able to help you and understand you. Gl and welcome.. it's a nice group of people here but we all have different experiences.. meds and daily life. Your mileage may vary hope I made some sense