Hi all,
My therapist told me to read the toxic parent book by susan forward and it really hit home for me.

Recently my mother has done some awful, manipulative things because she does not like the guy I am dating. She has met him once, and seemed fine with him after the first meeting, but something in the past few months went off in her head and she decided that he was a terrible person. She did some awful things like talking behind his back and my back about how he has no future job prospects, under the guise of how 'she is really worried for me'. It was completely overblown and insane, and not to mention her overstepping her boundaries. It was also revealed that she told my father some negative things I said about him in confidence to her-- mainly when consoling her when she comes to me about how upset she is in her marriage. Her and my father had an arranged marriage and she has never been happy with him. What she does is triangulation. She says that if I were to marry this guy, it would be bad news, because she just has a feeling about it. She also had a problem with my ex-bf (who I ended up not marrying, but not because of her being controlling).
The recent issues have left me feeling completely betrayed. It is obvious that I cannot trust my mother as she has no qualms about talking to random coworkers about my personal life or telling my father things I tell her in confidence. She seems to see nothing wrong with this, as she thinks she's just doing this for my own good (controlling).

I guess it is really hitting home that my mother has disappointed me also. I'm used to my father being a disappointment, and I felt that at least I had my mom. But her meanness towards my boyfriend is uncalled for and hurtful. He has done nothing to warrant her doing this to him and hating him so much. If I called her on this, she would just say 'she has a feeling about him'. The entire thing is upsetting, and while I do not plan on severing ties with my parents (though I should), I have decided to distance myself emotionally and not tell them anything about my life. I guess I can chalk this up to her being depressed and miserable, and possibly having some kind of mental illness, but somehow that doesn't make me feel better.

Has anyone else experienced this kind of stuff and can share?