Quote:
Originally Posted by Aloneandafraid
Thank you so, so much JustShakey. I really needed to hear this today. Thank you. I believe you. I know deep down you are right and I do believe you. Thank you so much. I do exactly that - I look to him for validation and acceptance. I try so hard to please him and do the right thing but it is never good enough. I kind of see this now. I try so hard every day. I am continually walking on eggshells. I can see this now. I do everything to make the house run smoothly and to avoid conflict but I am beginning to change (I think). I don't want to be treated like this anymore. It is so cruel and so unfair. I deserve better (I think).
I also don't want my boys to think that this behaviour is acceptable and I don't want them to ever treat a partner like this.
Thank you so much. 
Thank you for saying I belong here - this means so much. I have never felt I belong anywhere. Xx |
Oh, do I ever know the feeling of trying so hard and always walking on eggshells
The thing is, you can never give enough, because the more you give, the more he demands and the more you try to avoid conflict the more he creates it. It spirals down and down until you're a shadow of yourself.
The only way to stop it is to just say no. Refuse to play his game. It's bloody hard, and the backlash from him at first is terrible, but it works. I know. I've been there.
You *are* changing, getting stronger. One of these days you *will* be able to stand up to him. Be gentle with yourself. You've been hearing his nonsense for a long time. It's hard to break the cycle; it takes a lot of courage and you're doing it. Hang in there Alone. Keep being strong and don't ever give up on yourself.
