obviously if i had told this to anyone else where i am everyone will think im stupid or just pretending

but this question has been bugging me badly since many years

i have been taking antidepressants for a couple of weeks as i realised that i do need to get checked for it as i show all the symptoms but one of them in a very different way

as much as i know by being here for some time depression has effects on a person making him seem sad, uninterested, stuff etc to other people

but i smile, laugh a lot AND i dont think i have ever felt happy for as long as i can remember
i smile when i see a friend but i feel nothing different inside
i laugh when i hear a good joke or even when i dont understand the joke but i dont feel anything ... i think
these facial expression seem automatic and disconnected with me
i dont know what happiness feels like or if i have felt it before
i derive no pleasure from any activity yet im addicted to movies games and stuff

this realisation came to me a long time before i even knew as much about depression as i do now, when i was just a kid

no matter how big my achivement is i feel nothing inside YET i cant stop looking happy

thats why its hard for me to make others believe im depressed and stuff

is there anything i should know? am i missing something?