Well the hypomania is gone and has been replaced by dysphoria bordering on depression. At the same time I am very agitated and irritable. I have had 20mg of Zyprexa and 200mg of fast release Seroquel and am still wired and low. I want the hypomania back. Going back into depression is bringing with it serious suicidal thoughts. I am so over living like this. I have my fourth ECT tomorrow morning and two more to go after that. I can only hope they pull me out of this depression and that my rapid cycling settles down. I am a fighter and I am not giving up but I almost feel beaten by this illness, as if I have some ominous foresight of my demise. Did I mention I hate this illness? AGGHHH!!