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I know that 12-step programs help us grow spiritually. That they allow us to see there is a way to live peacefully within ourselves and the world around us. And they help us learn to forgive ourselves.
One of the main side-benefits I get out of going to AA meetings is that I get to meet new people to talk to, which allows me to give up my old friendships.
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Those are benefits but the primary benefit is maintaining sobriety. The primary purpose is to stay sober and help others stay sober. It doesn't have to be everyday just enough to maintain sobriety.
If you have been in rehab 13 times do you understand why you have relapsed? Did they teach about the relapse process? Are you already setting your self up for relapse? There are other ways to stay sober besides AA but are those available to you? Are you implementing a plan to stay sober if not AA?