Oh wow, that sounds so painful... I'm sorry. It sounds like you only got in touch with her 4 months ago... I can imagine this is a terrible and difficult thing to thing about, but is it possible that you're better off *not* being in touch with her? She doesn't sound like she has a lot of warmth or empathy to offer you, and if interacting with her is only going to make you feel worse... ? Just a thought...