I was a very good looking kid, I was praised and adored, people expressed jealousy, I hated that, and I wanted to stand out less, I was sick of all the praise that came my way, it made me feel alienated, I just wanted to feel 'normal'.

Times have changed now, I have lost so much of my curly hair, and age has taken it's toll on me in other fronts too, I still have the same face, but it's kind of lifeless now, I've been depressed for long that I haven't been able to take good care of myself.

How the times have changed, all the praise has been replaced with ridicule, my aunt put the final nail in my coffin last week, when she said 'you looked so good, when you were younger, now you're just crap' (she didn't use the word crap), but she did have a little smirk on her face, this is the same aunt that once expressed so much love for how I looked when I was only a few years younger. I attended my cousin's wedding last month, and there they were, all my relatives, lining up, taking shots at my appearance.

It's almost as if they were feeling good about themselves, some of them though were very sad to see me, I looked pretty miserable.

It's starting to get to me, I can't believe this is happening to me, it's almost as if someone's playing a cruel joke on me, they gave me everything, and are now taking it all away one by one. I don't know who to blame, but my depression and gender dysphoria has really made it hard for me to care about how I look.