I can understand not wanting to be medicated. Especially over-medicated.

But in your first post you said you were going to New York next month and shouldn't do anything to jeopardize the trip. Then....bam...you did it anyway. Textbook bipolar behavior.

If you don't want to take meds, then I think you should find some other means of dealing with impulsivity. I don't know if there are workbooks on the subject, or what.

You might be able to live med-free, but you've got to control the risky impulses. That's how we find ourselves in trouble and wonder how we got there. But you already know this. You just have to do it.