Just an update: I had T today and gave her a copy of the thread I made here. She had a lot of valuable insight. Her answer was.... That I know right from wrong. I know this marriage is not right. I know I can undo a lot of the damage done to the children. (alot, not all) because I have so far. How my H treats me is not right. Where I struggle is that we all do wrong and no one is perfect. So the question doesn't need to be... Is this right or wrong, the question needs to be, do I want to live like this forever, and do I want to continue to do damage control when it comes to the kids. It is not a right or wrong it's what am I willing to live with.

That made me feel so much better. The answer is so much more clear now. In the coming weeks while I wait patiently for the right opportunity. I will be setting the ground work for what is to come. I will not allow him to think things are great. I need to express my displeasure even if it is in the minor and small scale way that I do (in the face of fear) He will be pissed in the end, but what I can change is just how pissed. Is it going to be a LIVID pissed off because he never saw coming, or will it be a mad pissed because I am doing this and he knew I was minorly unhappy, or will it be a pissed because he didn't change or couldn't change. That makes it pissed at him self eventually (in hind sight) That is what the ultimate goal is.