thank you all. I try to sleep at night sometimes but even taking of my clothes a little bit reminds me of it all over again.. its like watching a video of yourself being attacked all day every day, and my privates just hurt every time like im supposed to be doing something sexual or something. its all so confusing. its like sometimes I don't want to go to sleep or stay awake either because no matter which I do, its there in my head. its like I have nightmares of being naked and having things inside me, the pain hurts so bad, I wake up crying and panicing