I remember getting myself therapy when I was 18. my parents found out and set me down to talk to me about it....the talk didn't consist of much..."its nothing we did, is it?" I finally got it all out in a 10 page letter to my dad when I was 44. about all the abuse and I basically disowned him. he got a response to me a couple years later invalidating everything I said, making up excuses for everything. he just didn't get it. he too didn't want me to take it out on my mother. after her death last year, we broke the ice. he apologized to me for any hurt he caused in my life. I know he is a different person now. but I haven't been able to forgive him. I am too damaged.