so, mel, are you to the point that you feel you are unsafe enough that hospitalization may be needed? I know that is a scary thought, but sometimes it is best as a last resort. I know it helped me at my darkest hour and I got stablilized on meds and things slowly got better. I can promise there is a way out of the darkness with the right meds and therapy. I never thought I would find a way out but my life totally turned around. hang in there.