due to my CSA, as a child I used to starve myself, not shower or wash my hair for weeks, stay up till my eyes burnt to deprive myself of sleep, deliberately socially isolate myself, wear my dad's clothes to make me look unfashionable and ugly, never make an effort with my appearance, drink maybe one cup of water a day, not take exercise.

all of this made me desperately unhappy. i starved myself down to a horrific weight because i no longer wanted to look after myself. i just 'opted out' of food (food avoidance emotional disorder). And as a result, I began fainting all the time and had two aggressive grand mal seizures (non epileptic). i reckon i did damage both my brain and body.

so i do really try to look after myself now. i try to shower every night, i eat a reasonable amount, i make an effort with my appearance and i exercise.