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I acknowledge that humour of the banter type (and sarcasm falls into this) treads a fine line of mutual one up manship (if both parties have a similar sense of wit) to control (bullying) if the recipitant is at the butt end of every joke.
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I do agree, there is a fine line. At the time, I had no idea just how dysfunctional H was with his social ability & that he didn't have the ability to understand that fine line & crossed it continually saw later on through the years that he would say things he thought were funny & he was the only one laughing at himself. It didn't hurt me because I knew he was full of crap & I had enough self-confidence in myself to know that I didn't fit the what he thought was a humorous put down......but it was just a bother to listen to all the humiliation crap that he thought was funny so it was much better to cut him off & show him the door & the divorce papers
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As for my own wife, our relationship is healthy (with exception to my bruises heh) and I would never intentionally (nor unintentionally if I can help it) humiliate her nor anyone else.
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Our relationship was never healthy....but he had no idea how to have a relationship, something I didn't figure out until 33 years later after I was finally willing & able to leave him. Your ability to have the sensitivity to never intentionally or unintentionally humiliate anyone says a lot for your sensitivity & your ability to have the intelligence to know other ways of expressing yourself so as NOT to cross that line in using sarcasm. My comment basically would only apply to those who do not have the ability to have other ways of expressing their thoughts in relationship to humiliating other people.
Don Rickels (sp?) was the comedian that H decided to emulate & that sarcasm was mostly did nothing but humiliate others & it totally turned me off of all sarcasm......but there is definitely cute non-damaging humor that doesn't seem like sarcasm at all.....guess it's mostly what we have been involved with......dry humor is not all sarcastic....& subtle humor isn't all sarcasm either.....& that I do enjoy & find humorous.....it is only the sarcasm that humiliates others that is on my "no tolerance" list.
Thank you for pointing out that there is a fine line of distinction
