Hi SecretGarden,

I know this is a tough issue. I have dealt with it myself, and I have improved through a lot of work in counseling. Sometimes it becomes an issue again, but mostly I deal with urges to hurt myself when I am having a bad time, rather than actually hurting myself. For me, I was thankful to have a counselor that was willing to talk with me about it, hard as that was at times, and we took time to figure out why I wanted to hurt myself. That was useful information. It helped me to figure out other alternative things to do instead of hurting myself as well. Those things may differ from one person to another, so some of those conversations may be best if you have them with your counselor.

If you want to stop hurting yourself, one thing to do is to try to use ways of distracting yourself in healthy ways....go for a walk....listen to some music you enjoy....do crossword puzzles....call a friend on the phone, or go out and have a cup of tea with a friend....go online and play solitaire? I don't know. I think each person needs to find what sort of distractions help them. The possibilities are endless. Sometimes if I can do something for awhile, or even most of the day, I can get past that initial urge, and it really helps. Sometimes writing about my feelings in a journal helps, too, which is something I can anywhere, any time of day or night. If I don't like the things I'm writing, I can rip up the pages as well, and sometimes even that feels good if I'm upset.

The best thing I've done is to get rid of things I might use to harm myself. It was hard to do, but it makes things much safer. I know it can be a big decision for a lot of people, but it also can help you step forward if you do want to stop self-injuring. If you don't have things in your home (or carry them with you) to use to hurt yourself, then you aren't so constantly and easily faced with that sort of decision. You've made extra barriers to yourself for self-injury. My prior counselor didn't force me to get rid of the things I'd used to hurt myself, but sure encouraged it. I did so, and I was glad I made that decision.

Anyway, those are some experiences I've had with it. I know this is a very hard situation, and I wish you the best as you deal with and try to figure out how to make things better in days ahead.....take care....

Take care,
ErinBear