He was found a few hours ago. I was the second person to find out. My best friend called me, which was weird because we normally constantly text and she goes "Jimmy's dead." and I nervously laughed. She told me how his neighbor found him and tried to do CPR but he was already gone. He's been really depressed because he was with a girl for years and her kid was a baby when they got together and she's 7 now, so he saw her as his kid and they even talked about adoption and he was so happy. Then she left him when she found out he was shooting up meth. That's when he got really depressed.

We weren't like close friends, but he was who me and and hung out with a lot with him. I just feel horrible because he would try to talk to me lately, but I'm dealing with so much myself that I can't handle someone else's depression like that on top of my own, but I would sometimes talk to him, tell him the coping skills that I've learned, let him vent, etc. But some times.. I kinda just ignored him and I feel like his death was a suicide. He's been doing drugs and shooting up meth again. They found blood coming out of his arm, he was in bed and had a heart attack. Last time he was shooting up, he always did it in his garage. Who shoots up crystal meth and lays in bed? I think he intentionally OD'ed because he's been so depressed. Someone would have said it was an OD by now if there was a needle in the room. If he shot up on his bed and had a heart attack right then, the needle would have been clearly visible near him.

I feel so guilty. He even lives within walking distance of me and always asked to hang out, but I'm not really a social person when I'm not with my best friend, so I would always decline his offer unless my friend was coming with me.

He's the first of any of the friends I've ever met in my entire life has died.
My mind literally doesn't want to believe it. He has to be at home and this is all a joke. He has to be at home. Remodeling. That's what he's been spending so much time on. I even helped him pick out his recent living room set and colors to paint his walls that went well with the tile he put in. Like. He has to be at home. But I'm too terrified to go to his house because I don't want to believe it.