If "permissiveness" describes your own feelings, you need to work with the feelings because you would otherwise project negativity no matter what you say. I am not clear why you suggested the PM route to elaborate - this is a very simple issue that can be discussed publicly.

Do you personally need society's permission to be straight?

If you do not, why do people who differ from you need such permission?

That you have this attitude is hypocritical, while allowing same sex sleepovers in light of this disclosure is not hypocritical. If you all of a sudden stop the normal practice of allowing same sex sleepovers, that would be a red flag and a giveaway. So it is probably best to run your life as normally as possible, without allowing changes that are essentially knee jerk reactions.